How to Stop Negative Self-Talk | The Realistic Optimist

How to Stop Negative Self-Talk

10:55 AM

How to Stop Negative Self-Talk

“There are moments when it seems everything in my head is negative. Nothing is going right, things are failing, and the world seems to be a gloomy and unhappy place. The "what ifs" completely rule me over and my inner self becomes a breeding ground of devastating possibilities that appear as loss, death and tragedy.”

Our inner critic is directly connected to how our parents spoke to us when we were growing up. During our childhood, we imitate the things we see and hear. This includes disciplining, praises, etc. Sometimes, when we heard or saw too many negative things or remarks, our inner voice turns out to be fault-finding. This will result to a negative outlook in life and a degraded sense of self-worth.

Fortunately, you can change what you think of yourself. Stopping the fault-finding inner voice before it initiates conflicts can open doors of positive outcomes in your life.

Raising self-awareness starts with becoming your own spectator. Know what part of you is calling out for change.

I have discovered the use of journaling to promote reflective thinking. There are moments when I feel uncomfortable to voice out my thoughts. Good thing I discovered journaling. My journal becomes a safe place where I can reveal my innermost thoughts. Once I put them all in writing, I see them clearly and realize that sometimes, my perceptions and outlooks are twisted or distorted.

Once you found out a negative or destructive pattern, you can make a choice and take action to change it.

How can you get started? There is a simple yet effective way to do this. Program your mind with positive and empowering thoughts as soon as you wake up in the morning and continually do so even in the most unlikely moments of your day. Repeating an affirmation is a way of establishing the truth we wish to emphasize and a powerful way to manifest our desires and attract positive changes into our lives.

When I started using positive affirmations, my fear and depression were greatly reduced. By incorporating this in my daily routine, I began having a fresh and more positive approach of thinking, which resulted to a higher self-esteem and better quality of life.

To make these ideas work out for you, be consistent and don’t let the negative voice to stop you from becoming the best you can be.

If you dwell on moments when your thoughts are negative and self-critical, it's more difficult to lead yourself to a positive direction. By intentionally and constantly deciding to be considerate and supportive to yourself, you can build a strong and positive character.

Don’t let others hold you back.

There will always be people who would hinder you to progress. They can either be one of your family members, circle of friends, classmates or co-workers. However, you can’t just ask them to stop and expect them to do so. It’s your choice if you will allow them to distract you or not. You can’t force them to be cooperative but you can inspire them to change as well. Don’t focus your energy on them, instead, do what you have to do and someday you will be amazed that you already influenced them.

Don’t live up to others’ expectations.

Do this for yourself. Stop the people-pleasing attitude. Instead of allowing others create the world for you, start creating a beautiful world for others by being a good role model. In this way, you are making people happy in your own unique way, and not just pleasing them in order for them to like you.


Try these techniques for yourself and let me know how it turns out. It may or may not work for you but I encourage you to try these and track your progress.

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