What is Self-Love and How Can We Achieve It?

Mar 16, 2012

What is Self-Love and How Can We Achieve It?

The idea of self-love is often used in a naive way. We often throw around the phrase “self-love” even if we don't understand what it really means. If we want to live a happier, fulfilled life, we have to first know what SELF-LOVE is and learn how to bring it into our own lives. Everything we do and experience is a direct result of how much we really love ourselves.

Self-love clearly manifests itself when you decide who you are and what you want. It grows as you start building a loving relationship with yourself. Self-love is all about having the will and courage to accept who you truly are and share it with others. It should not be confused with selfishness and conceit because it is through self-love that we can truly love others.

5 Steps to Learn to Love Yourself

1. Practice positive self-talk. Avoid saying statements like “I’m not good” or “I can’t do it.” Be aware about what you say to yourself. When you practice positive self-talk, you are programming your subconscious mind with positive images. This will help you feel good about yourself and do better things than what you are presently doing. Remember that you are your own worst enemy so it’s time to talk to yourself kindly.

2. Forgive yourself. Each of us makes mistakes in life. There are some people who feel guilty about their past errors. These made them believe that they can’t and shouldn't be forgiven. Remember that a mistake is a mistake only if you don’t learn from it. Forgiving yourself might not happen overnight, but if you learn to view your oversights as learning experiences, forgiving yourself will be much easier.

3. Never let other people define who you are. You are what you are and no one can change that. You are not defined by what others expect of you. Appreciate, accept and support who you are even those parts that you would like to eventually change. This will help you create yourself and the life that you've always dreamed of.

“When you begin to accept yourself the way you are right now, you begin a new life with new possibilities that did not exist before because you were so caught up in the struggle against reality that that was all you could do.” - Mandy Evans

4. Pamper yourself. Give yourself time to relax. Relaxation should not be considered as a luxury but as a necessity for a healthy mind, body and spirit. When you are feeling depressed, it is so easy to forget that you deserve a treat, whereas, spending time to unwind can be just the thing you need to get motivated and feel good about yourself again.

5. Express yourself. Hiding your feelings and isolating yourself can increase your stress levels, reduce your concentration, and get in the way of your relationships, work and overall health. However, by simply expressing yourself, you can reduce stress tremendously.

Each of the steps above takes time and effort, but will make a big difference in the long run. I hope that they can help you on your path to self-love.

Share /


  1. Very nice. I like this. May I share it on my "how to change your life" blog? http://www.empowernetwork.com/duncmd12/blog/how-to-change-your-life/

  2. Thanks for dropping by Mark. Feel free to share it on your blog. I appreciate it.

  3. This is a very enlightening post. Thank you for sharing!



Aris Moreno is the owner of www.theoptimistblog.com, a blog that aims to inspire and motivate people to be positive and happy. Life was not easy for him in the past and he went through different problems, but because of a positive disposition, he was able to rise up and overcome his trials. These experiences became his guide and inspiration to write meaningful articles in his blog. For him, being able to give direction and encouragement to others is what gives him genuine joy and happiness. It’s also his way of giving glory back to God for all the blessings that he continues to receive.

Featured in

Brew Your Best Year

Pick the Brain

Margaret Duarte
© The Realistic Optimist